Kids Often See Favorites Parents Don't Intend

Parents of several children can check how each child feels valued, since children may read attention differently than intended.

Updated on Nov. 4, 2026 in Pre-Teens

Gouache-painted editorial illustration of a small wooden chair beside an armchair in a warm, sunlit corner of a home, suggesting quiet closeness within a family. — Jenna Bush Hager said on Today with Jenna and Sheinelle that her children tell her 7-year-old Hal is her favorite, though she says she does not have one. AI Illustration. Upload story photo >

Jenna Bush Hager said she does not have a favorite child, though her children repeatedly tell her that Hal, 7, is her favorite. She explained the situation on the Tuesday, November 3 episode of Today with Jenna and Sheinelle, where she hosts.

Why it matters

The exchange is a light, relatable look at sibling dynamics and parenting for families with several children of different ages. It offers a reminder that children often read affection differently than parents intend, which can be a useful conversation starter at home.

This is a personal anecdote shared by a host during a televised segment, not a research study. It describes what Bush Hager said her children repeatedly tell her, with no independent measurement of the children's views.

The players

Jenna Bush Hager

Television host and former White House figure who co-hosts the daytime talk show Today with Jenna and Sheinelle, and who often shares family life with her audience.

Today with Jenna and Sheinelle

A daytime NBC talk show that covers lifestyle, family, and news topics for a national audience.

The details

Bush Hager said her children repeatedly tell her that Hal is her favorite, and that he shows it in small ways, such as heart eyes when she comes home and requests to read with him in bed. She shares her three children with husband Henry Hager and has spoken publicly about the family in several contexts. Her answer reflects a common parenting experience in which younger children often seek and display closeness in highly visible ways.

August: a multigenerational family photo was posted from the Bush estate in Kennebunkport, Maine.
Earlier in August: Bush Hager posted a birthday message for Poppy on Instagram Stories.
Tuesday, November 3, 2026: Bush Hager discussed the favorite-child question on Today with Jenna and Sheinelle.

Health Landscape

Developmental research on family relationships consistently finds that parents often deny favoring one child even when children perceive differences in warmth or attention. Bush Hager's account is a publicly shared example of that gap between parental intent and how children experience it.

If you have more than one child, it can help to notice how each one experiences your attention, since children often read affection differently than parents intend. Families may find it useful to talk openly about feelings of fairness, and to raise persistent concerns about a child's emotional well-being with a pediatrician or family counselor.

The takeaway

Children's perception of fairness can matter as much as parents' intent, so checking in with each child about how they feel valued is a practical habit. If a sibling dynamic feels persistently difficult, a conversation with your child's pediatrician or a family counselor is a sensible next step.